The Life Lessons I have learned from being drunk


“You can learn a lot about a woman by getting smashed with her.”

Tom Waits

I like to drink. I never drink when I gig, but when it's my night off and I am amongst friends, or in the company of a good book, I think there is nothing more splendid than a nice bottle of Reisling or an Old Fashioned. Novels haven't helped my romantization of the liquid poison. In novels alcohol is often painted as the ethereal second lover, who appears at dusk and turns your life into a debauched, orange-hued seductive glaze of bizarre conversations and unique dreamlike encounters. I like the sense of rebellion it still brings when I drink with friends late into night, running the risk of missing the last tube home. I have made many of my closest friends whilst drunk, and have won many a dance off when influenced by it's warmth.

However, I don't think drink and I actually get on. Alcohol is often that friend who tells you 'You look great', invites you to the prom and then pours pigs blood over your head in front of your friends. The friend who encourages you that entering into a pole dancing competition in Malta IS a good idea. Alcohol is the friend who spurs you on to write a play throughout the night and then email it unedited directly to the Royal Court, before letting you re-read it the following afternoon to realize it is all about Ninjas in Space. Alcohol in the friend who lets you book yourself return first class train tickets to Hull - for reasons you have never truly worked out.

How I feel the morning after

Alcohol has also encouraged me to buy many things online. In no particular order, here are some of the things I've purchased in my fits of drunken consumerist revelery: