April 23, 2019

Good afternoon!

Here is a small document with upcoming gigs on it.

This list will be updated on the reg, so keep your eyes peeled for last minute additions.



23rd - SPARKLE DELI - The Crown Tavern, Clerkenwell, London

25th - THE LOL WORD - The Albany, Great Port...

April 8, 2019

Hello you!

Groovy news!

This June I will be leading a two day Clown and Comedy workshop in..... BRIGHTON! Wahoo!

Dates are 8th and 9th of June (exactly before my 28th birthday - so I will be in the BEST OF SPIRITS).

It is a two day course from 12 to 5pm both days.

There ar...

April 3, 2019

Good Morning!

Exciting news to say that tickets are ON SALE for Love Songs to Guinea Pigs at the Wandsworth Arts Fringe in MAY! So if you missed out at Vault Festival, now is your chance to see my new show!

Details are as follows:

The Arches at St Marys Church: 3 May, 8.3...

March 23, 2019

Thrilled to say that due to the popularity of my March course at the Rosemary Branch I will now be delivering another multidisciplinary course in May!

The dates are the 5th, 12th, 19th and 26th of May, 2019.


Elf Lyons and Unattended Items



March 22, 2019

Hello you,

In December last year I was asked to write a comical assessment of Austerity for the Real Review magazine, which can be purchased here.

I decided a comical assessment was not appropriate or right for me to do- instead, I chose to analyse the United Nations (UN...

February 27, 2019

Good morning,

How are you?

Well. Here is my news. One result of living in shared rented accommodation is that you are slowly reduced of any actual space to do work and live, the house becomes an organism unto itself. The living room becomes a space predominantly for laun...

February 8, 2019

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always prote...

February 7, 2019

It is a week until Valentines day. That date that nobody really likes, despite how bitter it could sound to admit it. It puts couples under pressure, single people under pressure, widowed or divorced people out of sync and those who don’t define to traditional monogamy...

February 5, 2019


Wherever you are reading this, I hope you are not trapped in snow.

This is one of those fun posts where I tell you where you can find me this month if you fancy being a stalker* / supporter of my art**:




January 3, 2019

Hello wonders,

Happy New Year!

Here are a few updates about a few big gigs in the next coming months.

Much love,


Evening Standard: 3rd January 2019

Interview with Bruce Dessau about Spinal Surgery and Love Songs for Guinea Pigs.

Read the full interview here: https://www...

December 7, 2018

Hello elves,

Wrote a comical tongue in cheek article for Londonist on my recommendations on where to go this Christmas in London if you prefer not to destroy your liver...

Read the full article here: https://londonist.com/london/drink/how-to-survive-christmas-in-london-i...

December 5, 2018

Good morning!

Announcement to say that tickets for Love Songs to Guinea Pigs, my new comedy/play at Vault Festival 2019 are NOW ON SALE!

Grab them. NOW. Here.


13 - 15 February 2019

Network Theatre, Lower Road

21.15 (one hour)


November 27, 2018

Exciting announcement. I am now working with the team behind the super Rosemary Branch Theatre, Unattended Items, to deliver a four week, multidisciplinary course!


Elf Lyons and Unattended Items

Comedy and Clown Intensive 4 Week Course

Award winning comedian Elf Ly...

November 23, 2018

The Wedding

She was the smart to my scruffy. Sensible to my silly. The calm to my chaotic. From the age of 3 she had a sharp symmetrical bob that neatly lay around her very clean, heart shaped face. I had a ball of hair that moved with the nits within it, around my di...

November 22, 2018


I wrote a blog entry. It took a  while and then it deleted itself.

Frustrations of the internet.

So here we go. Let’s try and replicate it again.


I have returned
home now. Post op. For a while I waddled around like E.T but with sassy white hospital bra...

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