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    Elf Lyons
    • Apr 1, 2015
    • 3 min

    Right, let's try and get back on track….

    Right people... I'm back. The laundry has been done, the coffee pot has been refilled, I've bought some chocolate and I've hoovered. So, work time! Since returning from Australia I've been in a daze. A daze of denial mainly. Mainly about my supposed 'tan'. Every morning for the past fortnight I have woken up, looked upon my arms and body and noticed the summer freckles slowly disappearing one by one, becoming ghosts on my body, causing me to question my mental stability: 'Did
    Elf Lyons
    • Feb 11, 2015
    • 2 min

    Australian Adventure #3 - First Show - Welcome to Adelaide

    I should have written last night, but no word of a lie, I sat up in bed, with my laptop, at about 9.30pm Australian time and that's all I can remember. I woke up at 3am, lying in the same position with my laptop. I had conked out with post-show exhaustion. Now I was energetic and with an absolute pang for food like David Bowie in The Hunger in 1983. One pizza delivery later and all was amended, back to sleep I went and now it's 8:23am and I feel more human. A bloated human. A
    Australia Adventure - Entry #2 - Anonymous Alien in Melbourne
    Elf Lyons
    • Feb 10, 2015
    • 5 min

    Australia Adventure - Entry #2 - Anonymous Alien in Melbourne

    It's 00:18am on the 11th of Feb. I fly in 12 hours to Adelaide. My first official day in Australia was pretty overwhelming. In my 23 years, despite having travelled to places such as LA, South Africa, Alaska, Croatia and Cyprus, I have never properly travelled around another country completely on my own, without the guide or shadowing of someone else, or without a specific task set for me to complete. Today was a day when I was effectively a FREE AGENT. So, I took complete ad
    Elf Lyons
    • Jan 27, 2015
    • 2 min

    Elf's Diary Entry #25 - SQUATS

    [*heads up - I've drunk a bottle of wine*] Today was possibly one of the best days of 2015 so far. The objective in the run up to spending 6 weeks in Australia is to try and get a body like Ellen Ripley's at the end of Alien. (I've always wanted to pull of the white vest and briefs combo). So I have been hitting the gym like a Rabbit on Heat. I've always wanted to have a bottom of Nicki Minaj proportions but I've come to learn now that there is little chance I will achieve th

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